Transfer 9 Week 3

It's that time of week again! - not sure if what I will write will make sense, but here we go!

This week there was a lot more spiritual and emotional growth that happened then anything else, it was a crazy week! But we had Zone Conference, which is always amazing! It was incredible because it was all centered on the Atonement and Consecration. It was incredible being able to hear Sisters testimonies of the Atonement and how it has helped them in their lives, knowing how we can testify of it to our investigators and those we meet on the Square.
The Atonement truly is "the central act of human history, the pivotal point in all time, the doctrine of doctrines." It was really made evident to me that without the Atonement all else in life would be meaningless, which makes sense as it has been such a central thing in my mission as I feel every transfer I discover and open at least one new door to the Atonement. Another amazing thing talked about in Zone Conference was understanding how we can be more fully consecrated in our missions by having purpose focused discussion.
Sister Christensen and I set a goal to only talk about P-day topics, on P-day, and to have our hearts and minds centered on the work at all times and to help each other out with that! It has been hard, but a really incredible experience and when they talked about it in the Zone Conference I knew the goal we had set was truly inspired and that we were on the right path. It's not easy, but we have been able to see little miracles here and there because of that, also we have grown so much closer as a companionship and have greater unity because of it.
However there is a price.... and that is what I learned this week, actually just yesterday...

When we are on a good path, when we are giving everything we can and have to the Lord, that is when Satan tries to come along and tries to tear you down, because he knows how great you can be if you give everything and put it on the alter of sacrifice! He knows what power comes from a purpose centered and consecrated missionary, he knows the miracles that can he had, the happiness and success and the eternities that can be changed because of this. So naturally, we we know he wants us to be miserable like unto himself (2 Nephi 2:27). He has been attacking from every angle, making good things and turning them into doubt and fear and confusion, it was really hard and I wont go into the details, but suffice it to say that I am surprised that I still had makeup on after a good talk with some other Sisters, that through that I was able to receive some revelation concerning the situation and some guidance concerning the matters that were clouding my mind.

I know this is a very different email to what I normally send, but the reason I am saying all of this is to testify that Jesus Christ is our Savior, that His atonement is real and infinite and we can constantly be discovering and opening new doors of it every moment of our lifes, He is the Prince of Peace. Also, we as members of the church have been blessed to have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost, as Joseph Smith said “No man can receive the Holy Ghost without receiving revelations." The Holy Ghost has so many roles and for me in my life it has two main roles, especially on my mission, 1. Comfort (John 14:27) 2. Guidance and Revelation (D&C 9:7-9, 6:23, Moroni 7:13,16-17, 1 Corinthians 2:9–11, John 14:26, 2 Nephi 32:1–5 etc, the list goes on).
It is so incredible to know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know us so perfectly, I know that the Lord knows he needs to prepare me for things so that when the time comes when it is truly important, I know how to apply what he has taught me through these past experience, that he knows me through my Patriarchal Blessing, which is always a guide and comfort, even if it is just one new sentence that stands out when you read it! I know that they knew me for eternity before this life and I was with them, that is how they are able to help me in all that I do. Just like it says in the hymn 'Count Your Blessings', "help and comfort give you till your journeys end".

I was on exchanges this week with the most amazing Sister Missionary I have ever met, she is incredible and from Kiribati, she has an incredible story and has such strong faith and love for the Lord. We were talking to a member on the Square and then there was a text to take a movie in 15 minutes, we were already there and so we said we would take it, so the time came and it was a lovely father and daughter wanting to see Gods Plan for His Family, as we went through it and as we ended, sharing our feelings about it all and sharing personal stories about family, friends, mission, illness etc. I realized that there was a reason we personally had to take them, we needed them as much as they needed us in that moment. It was a moment where "Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together." perfectly came to pass. Then something was said that I think will change me forever, the daughter was talking about an experience in her mission and she said someone told her something that stuck with her and it has and will for me now to, she said "We preach the Gospel of Faith, not fear!" 
I am excited to let this profound saying change me into a more faithful and fearless daughter of God, I know that "perfect love casteth out all fear" (Moroni 8:16) and that as I remember the love the Lord has for me and as I show my love to Him, by having my eye single to the glory of God and to this sacred work we have been called to, fear will be cast out and I will have a greater hope and abiding trust in the Lord. It's going to be hard and it has been, but I'm excited for it and to reap the fruits of these lessons I'm learning.

I love the gospel so much, I don't understand how anyone who believes in God and believes the Bible can say that this is not true. This truly is Jesus Christ Restored gospel on the earth today, through a living prophet, just as powerful and amazing as the prophets of the Old Testament. You only have to read the scriptures and pray to know, it all makes sense the the blueprint is the same (What Is the Blueprint of Christ's Church? - Elder Tad R. Callister), The Book of Mormon truly is a means by which we can more fully know our Savior as it is Another Testament of Him. I love being a missionary and doing this work, it is an honor and privilege to know that we as missionaries represent the greatest being to ever walk the face of the earth at this time, where the gospel is so needed in a world of chaos and turmoil. What peace it brings to those that heed the words of the prophets, seers and revelators!

I love you all, thank-you for all you do. Stay Strong, Keep Smiling, Love the Lord.

Love, Sister Ryan xx